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People-pleasing often looks like kindness, generosity, or being “the reliable one.” But underneath, it’s usually more complex — and deeply tender. For many of us, especially those who grew up in emotionally unpredictable environments, focusing on others became a way to feel safe. If I can keep you happy, I don’t have to sit with the discomfort of your anger or sadness. It’s an attempt to manage the emotional temperature around us to avoid pain. People-pleasing becomes a way t

A Hidden Secret Behind Perfectionism (That Not Many People Realise) There’s a hidden emotional driver behind perfectionism that many people don’t realise: Shame. Shame is one of the primary emotions linked to perfectionism. At its most intense, it can feel like a shame attack — an overwhelming sense of worthlessness. Perfectionists often try to avoid shame attacks by trying to be “perfect” — because if they can be perfect, then they’ll be worthwhile. But this constant avoidan

As a therapist, I often work with individuals who struggle with communication and connection in relationships. One of the most important aspects of building healthier relationships is understanding your own emotions. The more we understand our feelings, the better we can communicate them, and the more deeply we can connect with others. The work of renowned relationship experts, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson, underscores this idea. Both emphasize that understanding and

Emotional balance isn’t something that happens overnight, but it is  possible with the right tools. If you’ve been feeling like your emotions are constantly in the driver’s seat (especially if anxiety is a regular passenger), learning a few key skills can help you regain control. These aren’t quick fixes, but when practiced over time, they make a big difference in how you respond to life’s ups and downs. Here are three core skills that can help you find more emotional stabili